Dilemma
by C.Y. Dementress
Summary: A song parody of "Dilemma" which I don't own. I wrote it many months ago. Now that I'm posting it, its my b-day present to me! DMHG R


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you recognize  
  
This is just a silly stupid song parody I made many many months ago. Now I'm posting it as my 15th birthday present to me. My birthday is in June 7. 6/7/'89 as a matter of fact. Cool isn't it? 6,7,8,9.... Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me....  
  
Camera zooms in and scene shows Hermione looking out her window. She watches her long time platinum headed crush practice their game of Quidditch. She starts singing....  
  
**Hermione:**  
_I love you and I need you,  
Draco, I love you, I do  
Need you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two (the two are Harry and Ron)  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
You know that I'm crazy over you_  
  
Scene changes and shows Draco Malfoy hanging around in midair on his broom. He sees Hermione longingly watching him through her window and starts singing (or rapping?) while looking for the snitch....  
  
**Malfoy:**  
_I met this girl and she moved right up to Gryffindor  
And she got that look for me, as though I was a sea slug or somethin'  
But oh, no, no, she's got Harry and Ron oh-oh, but that's okay  
'Cause I wait for my cue, and just listen, play my position  
like a seeker, pick up everythin' Weasley's hittin'  
And in no time I better make this girl mine and that's for sure  
'Cause I-I always been the type to break up a happy home  
But there's something 'bout that girl, I just can't leave her 'lone  
So tell me, Goyle, what's it's gonna be  
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me", come on_  
  
**Hermione:**  
_No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
You know that I'm crazy over you_  
  
**Malfoy:**  
_uh-uh-uh-uh  
I see a lot in your look and never say a word  
I know nasty I start actin', trippin', and hate up all of you  
And there's no way Malfoy go for it  
Ain't goin' with you girl, as you could see  
But I-I like your hair, your brains, your whole demeanor  
The way Ron come through and insult, and to back me up  
Now that's coo-ool and I got special ways to thank you, don't I forget it  
But it ain't that easy for you to hold him and leave me  
But you and me we got ties for different reasons  
I respect that and right before I turned to leave  
She said, "you don't know what you mean to me", come on_  
  
**Hermione:**  
_No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
You know that I'm crazy over you_  
  
**Malfoy:** _Sing it for me, H_  
  
**Hermione:**  
_I love you and I need you  
Draco, I love you, I do  
And it's more than you'll ever know  
Boy, it's for sure  
You can always count on my love  
Forever more, yeah, yeah_  
  
**Malfoy:**  
_East coast, I know you're readin' right  
Down south, I know you're studyin' right  
West coast, I know you're workin' right  
('Cause you don't know what you mean to me)  
Midwest, I see you searchin' right_  
  
**Hermione:**  
_No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm the two  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with the two  
You know that I'm crazy over you_  
  
**Malfoy:**  
_East coast, I know you're readin' right  
Down south, I know you're studyin' right  
West coast, I know you're workin' right  
(You don't know what you mean to me)  
Midwest, I see you searchin' right  
  
East coast, I know you're readin' right  
Down south, I know you're studyin' right  
West coast, I know you're workin right  
(you don't know what you mean to me)  
Midwest, I see you searchin' right_  
  
**Hermione:**  
_No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm the two  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you  
  
No matter what I do  
All I think about is you  
Even when I'm with my boo  
You know that I'm crazy over you  
Yeah, yeah_  
  
**Malfoy:**  
_East coast, I know you're readin' right  
Down south, I know you're studyin' right  
West coast, I know you're workin' right  
(You don't know what you mean to me)  
Midwest, I see you searchin' right  
  
East coast, I know you're readin' right  
Down south, I know you're studyin' right  
West coast, I know you're workin right  
(you don't know what you mean to me)  
Midwest, I see you searchin' right_  
  
As I said, pretty silly. And while your at it, read my other fic _"Harry's potion"_. Guaranteed to make you fall off your chair laughing like hell like all the other lung busted readers that read my fic at their own risk. Whew! Guess that's it. Happy birthday to me.... 


End file.
